Getting to Know Me Part 5: Fearfully and Wonderfully Made

So in the past 5 days, it's been established that I'm introverted, I love helping people, I'm probably the most likely person in the room to be taken advantage of, acquisition of information is my "thing", I'm most likely to be found with my nose in a book, I'm a wordsmith, I like to get on with a job as soon as I've been given ownership of it and I'm not very quick at making my mind up. That's the ones I agree with.

Simon, the gentleman who introduced us to Strengthsfinder last week had some stuff to say about me.  I'm not sure I agreed with all of it.  He did make it clear that I was likely to get irritated with "drama queens" and people who sweat the small stuff, because I'm all about finding the solution. He said as well, which I disagree with, that I dislike doing routine things again and again.  I have no problem with routine tasks.  In fact I create mini-challenges for myself to do it better and faster next time.  I have an inward celebration when my petty cash balances weekly. It's a challenge for me to see how quickly I can get minutes out after meetings. Mary Poppins summed it up so beautifully:

"In every task that must be done, there is an element of fun
You find the fun and - SNAP! - the job's a game!"

He said that I was solid and dependable, and also pointed out that I probably needed some level of protection, because I was easily taken advantage of.  He said the word that summed me up would probably be "humble" (I'm not sure I agree with that). He then said "this person will never, ever, ever, come into your office and ask you for a pay rise".  Which is true - I can't think of anything I'd rather do less, even if I think I deserve it!  And then he proceeded to say "this person probably does not share her toys or let you even touch her toys".  My colleagues, at that point, burst out laughing and said "her pens!!!!!" I have colour-coded pens (I know - very OCD of me! I almost sound like Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory!) and it freaks me when on a Wednesday my green pen is gone, or I can't find my black pen and I know I put it in my pen holder.  So Gregan (married to Glen, whose input we'll get to just now) had a special little pen box that you can file inside a folder, which she didn't want or need any more, and so gave it to me.  It has been the best invention ever for me (after flipfiles and post-it flags), because I can lock it in my drawer!!!  But that's a bad example.  I just like doing things a particular way and since most of the other pens in the office are black ink, I really do fight to protect my purple, green and red pens!  But pretty much anything I'll share. Just maybe not the same cup at the same time. Or a plastic bottle. I didn't think I was too much of a germophobe, but I must admit, that does give me the heeby-jeebies.  He also said that I probably thought I was the most intelligent person in the room.  In looking around the room, with trained psychologists, political scientists, published authors, business owners, lawyers and b.comm students, I certainly didn't feel like the most intelligent there.  In fact, as I looked around the room, I realised that I am the only one that does not have or is not working towards a degree.  So of all Simon's statements, that one was probably the hardest to swallow, and I still don't think that way.

On the whole, though, I fared pretty well in Simon's summing up (though I did say to a couple of my colleagues "He made it sound like I hate my job and I only want more money!!!"), but there were others who went home depressed at the people they thought they were. So the following day, one of our elders, Glen, sent this amazing email, which he gave me permission to publish in this blog, and with it, I'll close this series.

From: Glen Bodington
Sent: 02 February 2012 12:03 PM
To: Newgen Admin Staff
Subject: Fearfully and Wonderfully made

Hello Wonderful and Diverse Individuals,

Yesterday Simon's StrengthFinder was quite an experience, I'm sure we all agree. Thanks Stef for initiating the time with him in an attempt to grow us and invest in us.

Last night after Simon's character assessments, which were mostly quite accurate, I got to thinking about the implications of what he said and would like you to take the following to heart when mulling your assessment over in your mind:

1) Simon isn't God

No surprise, that! Simon's job is to assess you based on the glasses through which you viewed and answered the questions. The assessment helps to point out how you see the world and make judgements, BASED ON 5 WORDS. Clearly this is not your entire make up, but does highlight the slants that we place on decision making without us even knowing. Simon isn't trying to define you, God defined you before He created you and He LOVES the way that He made you. Simon is hoping to help us explore how God wired us.

2) Strengths NOT curses

Simon started off with the disclaimer that he will try to highlight what characteristics make you who you are. The characteristics don't "make you who you are", the characteristics come out because of who you are and who God made you to be.

eg. So Simon said that I was probably "arrogant". After clarifying that, he meant "confident in what I do" because I have full confidence that what I do I do to the best of my ability. (That actually can lead to arrogance!) Confidence is good and can be a strength. Arrogance is bad, but is undoubtedly linked to confidence, just in the wrong manner. To know your strengths should give you permission (where you haven't exercised it) to use it AS GOD INTENDED. Confidence is Godly, arrogance isn't.

3) Stef FINALLY makes sense

The benefit of going through the process together is that it SHOULD open my eyes to the fact that God made you very different to me. Gift mixes are beautiful and individual. I now know that my envy of Monique's tidy top-drawer is because our wirings of "Achiever" don't naturally allow us to have an untidy drawer because we want them to be the best - that's not wrong, it's just Monique! It should free her up to want to tidy everyone's top drawer and we should all let her do it! We should be more tolerable of other people's differences and not conform them to our view of what the perfect person looks like.

4) Don't forget about Jesus!

All of what came out in the results excluded the positive and life-changing power of Jesus Christ who came to save us from ourselves! My profile would read very differently if it wasn't for Jesus - my top 5 "themes" would still be my top 5 themes, but the expression of those themes would be VERY DIFFERENT.

ACHIEVER:

without Jesus: I want to be the very best. I will climb the corporate ladder and earn my way to the top!

because of Jesus: I want to be excellent and do everything excellently, because He made me and He deserves everything of me.

LEARNER:

without Jesus: I love reading and I read a lot. I absorb information and know pretty much everything. Yes, I am superior to you and I will speak with words that are completely over your head. No, you can't teach me anything because I already know everything!

because of Jesus: I Love reading and I read a lot. God is so huge and so vast that I can never know everything - how exciting. I may know more than this guy speaking to me, but I want to remain teachable. I'll also choose to speak to you so that the language is understandable - I have no benefit in losing you in big words!

The permutations are endless!

Jesus gives us value, not our talents. Jesus gives us value, not even the fact that He made us. Jesus, alone, gives us value and meaning.

I am a work in progress - being formed into the image of Christ. I will still have the character traits that He put inside me, but I will be expressing them to the glory of God. God does want you to be you, but the you that is submitted to the Lordship of Jesus Christ. I need to know what I naturally tend toward to prevent me from being abused in that area, but also to bring glory to God in that area. I need to know what I naturally tend toward when I make a decision because my viewpoint IS VALID, just different.

This is an amazing team to work with and the gift mix that God has brought together makes it a formidable team in His hands. Let's appreciate, stimulate and applaud each others wiring that is a strength. We appreciate you for who you are and know that you add value. That's why you're on this team! And God knows the incredible futures that He has for us in this incredibly privileged place of working in NewGen.

Much love and appreciation,

Glen

You knitted me together in my mother's womb. 
I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Wonderful are your works; 
   my soul knows it very well.  (Psalm 139:13-14)

Getting to Know Me Part 3 - At the Core

I'd heard about Strengthsfinder some time ago when a work colleague at Cotlands started talking about it after attending a lecture on the subject. It was interesting, but it was knowledge I put to the back of my mind, and never thought about it again.

That is until Newgen decided to do an admin teambuilding day.

The basic history and premise of Strengthsfinder

We were each given a link and a unique code, given the instruction to log in, answer the questions, and thus gain the 5 words generated as a result. So I duly did that last Sunday - closed my door, logged in and completed the questionnaire.  Sure enough, I got my 5 words.  It was only on the Tuesday that I found out I'd been given a report that I could print out!  When I read it, I was terrified, and convinced some kind of witchcraft was going on!

On the Wednesday morning, we got to meet Simon, who explained what Strengthsfinder was and what it does, and we got to see (most of us for the first time) into whether our words fell into the "influence", "relate", "strategic" or "execute" domains.  "Influence" is those traits which help us in large group situations - they quite enjoy limelight, being in public, think of things like ambience, moods, etc.  But they're not very good at one-on-one relationships - that's the job of the "relate" key words.  People who are strong in this are real "people" people.  While they might be shy, they are very tuned in to how a person is feeling, and whether they feel part of what is going on or not.  Then the "strategic" people are the deep thinkers and planners - research and innovation is what they thrive on.  Then the "executors" - the "get it done" type people.  They might not be friendly, but they know what has to be done, and they get it done - very, very efficiently.

So Simon started giving us our groupings.  Not really surprising, none of my words fell into the "Influence" domain.  I really am a person who prefers very much to be quietly in the back row, so I wasn't surprised.  My fifth strongest trait - that of "developer" came up under relate, and then my top three traits came up in "strategic".  If you've been keeping up, then you will know that my last one was in "execute."

Anyway. let me give you my top two - the two words that Strengthsfinder reckons sum me up better that any other words in the whole world:

1, Input


People who are especially talented in the input theme have a craving to know more. Often they like to collect and archive all kinds of information.  (So true - this is where flipfiles are the best invention ever!)

Chances are good that you are determined to keep abreast of the news. You probably satisfy your hunger for current information by habitually reading newspapers, magazines, correspondence, memos, files or Internet sites. (Witchcraft, I tell you - who told them????) Driven by your talents, you delight in the opportunity to hear leading thinkers discuss their theories and insights. The "life of the mind" appeals to you greatly. You relish acquiring new information about profound, out-of-the-ordinary, or scholarly ideas. It's very likely that you may be a wordsmith - that is, a person who works with words. (Hence my blog!) Perhaps you collect complicated terms and their definitions. Whether you can use these immediately or months later is of little concern.(I love playing "It Pays To Enhance Your Word Power" in Reader's Digest! And Balderdash is just the most fantastic game ever for this!) You might realise your sophisticated vocabulary is an "open sesame" - that is, words that unfailingly bring about a desired end. You might speak or write in such a manner that the condition of humankind or the planet improves in some small, yet meaningful, way. By nature, you may insert intricate or theoretical words into your academic or professional conversations and writings. your interest in language partially explains why you enjoy mastering specific types of words and their definitions. While some individuals are required to memorise new terms in classes or seminars, perhaps you automatically commit specific words to memory. Occasionally you describe this experience as pleasurable. Instinctively, you can escape the tension, pressure or stress of everyday life by reading a good book, diving into a publication's articles, or pulling up information on the Internet. ("Oh, this is so not like me!" she says sarcastically ....)You are apt to take reading material with you on vacations, business trips, rest breaks at work, or tables for one at restaurants. (They missed doctors appointments, car trips, the yearly visit to the Receiver of Revenue....) You routinely dog-ear pages, underline key ideas or scribble notes in the margins so your latest discoveries can be easily retrieved. (This is probably the only thing I disagreed with - I battle to damage books in any way.  Post-it flags - best invention ever - after flipfiles!!!)

2. Intellection


People who are especially talented in the Intellection theme are characterised by their intellectual activity. They are introspective and appreciate intellectual discussion. (Bang on the money!)

It's very likely that you occasionally go off by yourself to think through things. (I've been accused of being anti-social and some people have come to drag me "back into company". All that succeeds in doing is leaving me depressed.  I need my own company and complete silence to completely relax) Because of your strengths, you may feel comfortable associating with some historians. Perhaps you are attracted to experts who rely on proven facts. You might prefer individuals who research particular events.(Anyone who really, really knows their subject is fascinating to talk to.) You sometimes mull over what you have heard. You might develop your own theories, raise new questions, or write about your discoveries. (Again, hence the blog!) By nature, you may enjoy reflecting on what you already know or want to know. At times, your concentration leads you to major or minor discoveries.(Sounds like an average morning devotional time for me!) Maybe you need ample quiet time to examine new information, theories, concepts, or philosophies. Perhaps your mind cannot rest regardless of where you go or what you do. (The reasons for my insomnia are becoming apparent, are they not?  For someone to say to me "Just switch off!" shows that the person speaking does not at all understand how I work.  My brain is just not wired to switch off!!!  That switch short-circuited at birth!)  To some extent, you ponder what you have observed. Occasionally you pose never-before-asked questions. Perhaps thinking deeply about certain things is necessary for you. It might not be a luxury. It might not be an option. Instinctively, you are by nature someone who soothes people when they become upset, overwhelmed, angry, or fearful about life's uncertainties. (Part of me agrees with this - I think of sitting next to the nursing sister of Cotlands on her second-ever flight back from Johannesburg to Cape Town, and she was petrified. Because I've flown a few times, and because I read Colin's aviation magazines, I was able literally to explain in great detail what each noise meant as we approached land and what the next thing to happen would be - all while she squished my hand into oblivion! However, there is a side of me that gets thoroughly irritated with people who seem to be self-indulgent in their anger, upset, moods, frustrations or irrational fears. I cannot bear people "sweating the small stuff" and making mountains out of molehills, making everyone else around them miserable because things are not going exactly according to their plan.) Because you read so much, typically you can expand their view of the situation by sharing a fact, a thought, a quotation, or a story you have discovered. Driven by your talents, you may prefer to read, write and ponder philosophies, theories or concepts that interest you. You might prefer to be alone with your thoughts rather than engage people in small talk at a social event. (Absolutely true.  That's if I even attend the social event.  I am absolutely the WRONG person to have on "meet and greet" in any situation.)


So this, according to Clifton Strengthsfinder, is what runs the rest of me. I think predominantly strategically, not relationally.  Logic works so much better for me (I'm completely left-brained!) - facts and figures all the way.  I have a photographic memory for facts.  Prime example is when I meet people - I will remember their name and facts about them, but ask me what they look like, and I won't be able to tell you!  It's really terrible!

I'll finish off the final three parts of my core tomorrow. I think it's information overload for everyone for one day.

And besides, I have four books and 12 magazines that really, really need my attention!

My normal pose!

Valuable lessons from 2011

Lesson 5: Even When It's Dark, There Is Light


I've saved the biggest lesson of 2011 for last.  It ties in - sort of - with all the previous ones (except for the cockroaches - it has nothing to do with cockroaches), and even now it's an ongoing lesson, with some of the issues still in the process of being resolved.  They have been incredibly hard lessons, and I've cried bitter, bitter tears, but I've seen amazing blessing as a result.

It started in January.  I'm not going to go into what happened.  I will just say that it was probably the single most painful thing I have ever had to deal with, even surpassing the agony of the divorce I went through in 1999.  It meant severe and immediate changes in everything.  In order to deal with the situation, we had to step down immediately from the leadership position we held in the church; sessions were held with various professionals, and eventually counselling was received.  The result has been restoration and increased closeness as a family.  The sweetest of all has been a greater degree of openness and accountability, which wasn't there before.

We took Catherine to start at Rhodes University, Grahamstown, in February (while still slap-bang in the middle of all this turmoil).  After four months of battling severely, she realised that the course wasn't for her, nor was studying so far from home.  She came back for good to Strand in June.  So many flustered "Oh Lord, what now??" prayers went up at that time, but it only became apparent later in the year when she joined our church's gap year program, Ground Force, that she was never meant to teach high school English.  All her giftings, her passions, her interests are geared towards her being a Grade R/Grade 0 teacher (preschool).  She's been working in a creche in our local township, Nomzamo, having the time of her life.  The other young folks on the course who went definitely did not feel it was something they would do outside of Ground Force, but they went every week as part of their program.  However, Catherine always came back energised and bubbling over at the kids and what she'd learned from them as much as they'd learned from her.  She would never have realised this had she stayed at Rhodes. Many other things still have to be worked out - work, finances, further studies, etc, but I have faith for all of these.

And that's the beauty of this year.  It's been a tough year.  Many of the things that have happened to us have not just had physical and emotional consequences but financial implications - very major ones - which have definitely put us on the backfoot for 2012.  But in many, many ways we are going into 2012 far richer than we could have ever hoped.

I have three children, each with different challenges to meet this year (jobhunting, driving tests, further education, matric exams, learning with ADHD and a nystagmus) but all with a wonderful attitude, and a strong sense of who they are in God.

I have a wonderful family - immediate and extended - who are behind me. I'm hugely grateful for the stronger relationship forged with my sister this year, and an understanding of each other that was never there before.  I'm grateful for my spiritual family, for members who encourage me, and those who are not afraid to give me a proverbial kick up the rear when I'm acting in error.

I'm thankful for an amazing husband who, though he sweats the small stuff and drives us crazy sometimes, in a crisis he is a gifted, sensitive, caring leader, rock solid and one that you can definitely lean on.  I'm grateful for his dependability, his faithfulness, his enduring love and his gentle but firm leadership.  I could not have coped with this year without him.

My awesome family

And I'm grateful most of all to my Heavenly Father, for having my paths clearly marked, for knowing the end from the beginning, for sticking with me through the dark, sleepless nights, for His still, small words of comfort, encouragement or admonishment, for His supernatural provision.

I face 2012 with a small measure of trepidation.  I would lie if I said I didn't. But I leave 2011 with a grateful heart for good, solid lessons.  I would be foolish not to learn from them, and be thankful for them.

Do I want to live through 2011 again?  Not on your life!  Am I glad it happened like it did? You bet!

Happy New Year to all of you.  May 2012 bring you all you wish for, but most of all, my wish is for you to receive God's gift of eternal life, freely offered to you.  May you know His peace, love and forgiveness as you start this New Year.