Breaking chains

It was reported today that Abdelbaset Al-Megrahi passed away, with his family round his bedside. Some of you reading this will wonder what on earth this has to do with anything, and the name will mean nothing to you. Unfortunately, the name conjures up all kinds of reactions in others, depending on where your sympathies lie. Al-Megrahi was convicted of having planted the bomb on Pan Am Flight 103 on December 21st, 1988, and causing a 747 to break up over Lockerbie, Scotland - my home town.

The Air Disaster memorial in Rosebank Cresent, some 50 m from my childhood home. where the galley section ploughed into a group of four houses.

Taken from the memorial - my house is on the right, where the fourth car down is parked

A number of status updates I've seen today from Lockardian residents include things like "at last, some happy news!" and "good riddance!".  Despite the fact that we - like everyone in the town - were impacted by the atrocities of that fateful night, I just can't feel that way.  In the same way that I felt the celebrations of Osama Bin Laden and Muammar Gaddafi's assassinations were, though understandable, as wrong as the anti-American celebrations that were held in Libya or Palestine after the bombing of flight 103 or 9/11, that's the way I feel about celebrating the death of Al-Megrahi.  I just can't. But by the same token, I don't feel sorry for him at all. At this point, I don't know how I feel.  

What I do feel, has nothing to do with Al-Megrahi at all. Not really.  Because in dealing with things like the Lockerbie Air Disaster, we're faced with an issue called "Forgiveness".  That's what the real issue is here.  It's easy to hate. It's easy to blame. It's easy to demand justice. It's easy to celebrate what we determine is someone's just desserts. That's human nature, and it comes easily to us all. But while justice has a very necessary place in the world, if all we did was mete out justice and seek justice for all those that had wronged us, the world we lived in would be a dark, fearful, legalistic place. Not only would we spend our time scrutinising people to accuse, we'd live in fear of being accused, and the retribution to follow. The reason it isn't like this is because of forgiveness. With it, we can begin to move on. Without it, at best we are impossible to live with. The worst is far more dire and horrific.


C R Strahan said "Forgiveness has nothing to do with absolving a criminal of his crime. It has everything to do with relieving oneself of the burden of being a victim--letting go of the pain and transforming oneself from victim to survivor.”  That is very true.  While you hold on to the pain of whatever offence has been committed, you can never be more than a victim. Is it easy?  It's the hardest thing you'll ever do. And it's a choice that only strong people make. As I said, it takes no brains at all to hang on to the grudge. It is a wilful choice to let go and to forgive. Unforgiveness leads to resentment, which, said Nelson Mandela "is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies".  All these 23 years we've been resenting Al-Megrahi - do you think our anger has made one bit of difference to him? No? Here's the question - what has that anger done to you?  

Don't hear what I'm not saying. If people are guilty of an offence, of course there should be consequences and the justice systems (hopefully) would see to that.  However, even if not, it's not our place on earth to act as judge and jury for every inhumane act against everyone else. Yes, step in where you can, and bring people to justice. But to hold on to anger against someone for years and years and years will change nothing in the situation, and will certainly do you no good.

I watched a programme tonight called "Final 24", on the last day of Gianni Versace's life. The gunman was an obsessed fan by the name of Andrew Cunanan, who had (according to this programme) been unintentionally snubbed by Versace at a party in Los Angeles.  Cunanan never forgot the slight at all, and seven years later  he followed his fallen hero to South Beach, Miami and shot him twice, killing him with the second shot. Seven years of holding a grudge.  Seven years of going over and over the internal pain. Seven years of hate and anger. And eventually it all became too much.  Seven years later, Gianni Versace was gunned down by a total stranger whose intense hate emanated from an offence years in the the past, of which Versace was totally and completely unaware and unaffected.

Jim Beaver said, "Forgiveness is not something you do for someone else; it's something you do for yourself. To forgive is not to condone, it is to refuse to continue feeling bad about an injury." Forgiveness in many ways has very little to do with the other person, and more to do with you.  That we hold onto our grudges says way more about us than it does about the original offenders.

Do we need to necessarily physically have to confront someone and say "I forgive you"?  I battled with this one aspect.  But if you realise, as I said above, that it's more about letting go, then it really becomes a conscious decision to release this offender from your thoughts, to treat him/her as if he/she were no different from the next person.  You see, if they haven't admitted guilt and repented, then you saying to them "I forgive you" would be a pointless exercise, and would probably only serve to stir up more anger. In many ways, forgiveness is purely a heart thing, more than a physical thing.

And I really believe this is what Jesus was getting at in the Sermon on the Mount when he said "But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those that persecute you." (Matthew 5:44)  Forgive. Make a decision of the heart. Where does love come from? From the heart.  But just as true love is not a feeling - it's a daily choice - it's the same with forgiveness.  Once you've made that decision, praying for those who are putting you through hell on earth becomes a little easier (Note I didn't say easy - sometimes it really is a physical battle!)

I'm not saying this because I'm in a perfect place on this. It does not take much to set me on a course of unforgiveness, or to feel "justified". It happened to me recently when someone I went to school with was complaining because someone was bullying his daughter. This same person used to bully me at school. It is so hard not to gloat at that point and to feel anything other than a sense of justice.  But then, what about the poor little girl?  Why would I feel happy about that happening to another girl, just like me? When does this circle end? Simply when I choose to break it, to repent of my smugness, and pray for this little girl.  

I know you won't all agree with me, and I'll probably stir up a complete hornets' nest, but since it took me to have to be put onto lifetime medication to at least start learning this lesson, it's not my heart that any of you should have to do this the hard way.  Let it go.  Paul says "Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written,“Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” (Romans 12:19). That's a justice from which no government, family or lawyer can save you. But it belongs to God alone. Forgive. Let it be, and move on.

Trust me, all those who know you and your own body will thank you.

Valuable lessons from 2011

Lesson 4: Everything Has a Reason and a Season


Most of us have seen (copiously!) the email that 'people come into our lives for a reason, for a season, or for a lifetime.' (Please don't send it to me again if I've misquoted it - really, I got the message when I read it the first 20 times).

But the fun part for me this year has been working out the reasons as I go through different seasons. And the reasons have been surprising.

The lessons haven't always been easy.  I've dealt with some people in this year, who, easygoing as I am, have really managed to push all my buttons.  I will not mention who, or where, or what the circumstances, but they just seem to have that uncanny knack of causing me grief, wittingly and unwittingly. Eventually, after much contemplation (too much, actually) and a night of praying, I felt (rather than heard) a voice say "Every pearl needs some irritation in order to be made perfect."  It may not have been what I wanted to hear, but it made a lot of sense.  My reaction now is to reach out to those people, and learn to love them, however difficult it is.

I often think back to things that happen in the past and try to understand their reason.  I had a really terrible job a couple of years back, from which I walked away after 7 weeks, after realising that my new boss's sole aim was to belittle me to the point of brokenness.  However, in that office, I had one person that I got on really well with.  I have often wondered why I had to go through those 7 weeks of hell - till this year that same office ally employed both my teens (without interviewing them first!) to work in her holiday business.  It may not be the only reason for me going through the pain that I did, but when I see my son come in after 6 hours of work, tired but happy, with stories of the weird and wonderful people who were walking along the beach, it finally seems worth it.

Two seasons came to an abrupt and violent end this year. Colonel Muammar Gaddafi was shot dead on 20th October by Libyan rebel forces. He had been in control of Libya for 42 years, and during his reign, had sanctioned the bombing of an American airliner, thus enabling the bombing of Pan Am Flight 103 on 21st December, causing debris to rain from the sky on a small, unsuspecting Scottish market town.

In Pakistan, on 1st May, Osama Bin Laden was assassinated by a crack American force.  He was the leader of Al Qaeda, who claimed responsibility for all the aircraft that flew into buildings on 11th September, 2001, destroying the World Trade Centre, severely damaging the Pentagon and forever changing the security levels in airports.

Why did atrocities such as "The Lockerbie Disaster" and "9/11" happen? Because evil men plotted it. Pure and simple.  But where sin abounded, grace did much more abound.  In New York, people turned to God in a way unparallelled in previous years.  In New York, as in Lockerbie 13 years before, people came together in a defiant sense of community.  In New York, as in Lockerbie, firemen, policemen and paramedics, who risked danger of further building collapse or fires to save others, were the people's heroes instead of shallow, self-seeking sports stars, musicians and actors.

21st December 1988, the longest night in Lockerbie's history

Lockerbie, last week, said goodbye to the man who'd been its leading fireman at the time of the air disaster. His final struggle had been against his own body, and it had been a long, hard-fought three-year battle. Ronnie Robertson was my best friend's dad, his brother Brian had been my driving instructor.  I knew Ronnie as the most humble, jovial, self-sacrificing man in the town.  On the night of 21st December, he worked through the night (along with all the other firemen from Lockerbie), came home at 4 am, showered, put on his postman's uniform, did his postal round, came home and changed and went back to rescue work.  He did that until there was nothing left for the fire service to do.  He was one of my heroes.

The epitome of true heroism

In New York, children realised that Spiderman, Superman or Batman didn't have a patch on their firefighting fathers, brothers, uncles, who risked (and in some tragic cases gave) everything to save as many people as they could, or the real life heroes in the skies over Pennsylvania on United Flight 93 who made a stand and stopped a destructive mission.

Inspector George Stobbs, QPM

No, God didn't "make it happen" or even "let it happen", but He knew that man's evil choices would lead to these moments, and he had the very people in place that would thwart the full force of evil and restore immediately faith in humanity.  There's not one person I know from Lockerbie who isn't proud of its people and what they achieved when they stood together.  Unsung heroes who spent hours and hours with relatives from America - Inspector George Stobbs gave up days to be with all kinds of investigation bureaus and with relatives, and Alex Traill who after taking relatives to where their loved ones were found, to the memorial, allowing them to grieve and then offering a kind word of comfort, would take them home for a three course meal.  These are the people and plans God had in place, ready and waiting.  As the World Trade Centre is being rebuilt, it's a symbol of a spirit of community.  Evil happened, and a tiny town, and a massive metropolis, were ushered into new seasons.

John F Kennedy once said, "Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country." You may be in a difficult season.  You may not think you have any reason to be here.  I can tell you, you have no idea what plans God has for you.  It may be a timely word to someone, which makes them change their mind, or it may be to become a part-time paramedic to save someone's life.  I can't say.  But always look for life's lessons, even in the hardest of times realise that there is a reason for it, and always look for heroes in the unlikeliest of people.  Lockerbie and New York will tell you that there are literally hundreds, and you wouldn't be able to spot them.  They never will claim to be heroes - they will always  be "just doing their job".  Those are people worth knowing.