Mothers' Day x 365

My hero, my role model, my mum

Agnes Knox, Nancy Knox, Nan Lindsay.  Most of you reading this won't have a clue to whom I'm referring.  But there is the select few who read this who won't read "Agnes", "Nancy" or "Nan" - they'll read "Mum", "Granny", or some of you even "Aunty Nan". Born 12th June 1936, Mum had a childhood through wartime.  She was a remarkable lady in unremarkable circumstances.  Married at age 19, she held fast to her vow "till death do us part", bore four children (though suffering a miscarriage between the third and the fourth), raised three very, very different daughters, and one quiet and loving son, who knew how to bring out the best - and the worst - in all his sisters. 

Being the youngest of the four, by a fairly large number of years, I was the last child left in the home, after everyone else had married and moved away.  Mum just took everything in her stride - all the weddings, still having a child in school, the arrival of grandchildren.  She held down a job, she worked herself to the bone, then came home and did it all again there.  Of course I had chores, and of course Dad helped with cooking, and could drive a vacuum cleaner like you wouldn't believe, but nobody could do the laundry or ironing, or just generally keep the house going like Mum.

The news in 1992 that she had had a cancerous lump removed from her breast and was undergoing radiation therapy came as a huge shock.  But at every check-up thereafter she was given good reports, and Mum went back to doing what she loved to do - looking after other people.  There was always someone she "took care of" and she had a special heart for elderly and infirm people.  First it was Nanna, then Kate Hastie, then Annie.  So it was a massive, massive blow to us all when in December 1997 she was rushed to hospital, and died soon after admittance.  Though the death certificate stated she died of "pulmonary thrombosis", the autopsy revealed cancer had completely overtaken her body, and the doctors reckoned that, had the blood clot not killed her, the cancer certainly would have within the month.  She was 61, wife for 41 years, mother of four, grandmother of 6 (at that stage).

While thinking of her today, I just realised that, though I loved my mum desperately and there was nothing, literally nothing I couldn't tell her, I realised how little I really did to show her my appreciation, far less verbalise it.  If I could live my life over, that is probably one of the biggest things I would change - this lady who sacrificed so much for all of us - I would take so much off her shoulders in terms of household responsibility.  I would tell her that she is an amazing woman.   I would let her know that she truly is my hero.  She wouldn't be coming home from work and making her own tea, especially not if I've been home for an hour before her.  I would do more together with her.  Learn more about her childhood.  Learn more about - and from - her.  And I would really encourage her to pamper herself, take time out, take a break.  Sometimes moms are their own worst enemies.

And here's the thing; my mum's not the exception - she's more like the rule.  Moms just get on and do it and the more into motherhood I'm going, the more I see it.  There's a lady in our church right now - three children under five, studying AND keeping a household going.  I saw another lady arrange a massive women's event for over 400 women, while looking after two small children and being heavily pregnant with a third.  Yet another raising two adopted teenage daughters, working a full day in the city and sometimes not knowing where the next meal is coming from, yet never ever closing her heart to anyone in need - always the first there with a pot of soup, offer of a lift, or whatever's needed.

Yes, there are mothers who are genuinely bad, who will go all out to harm their family, but they really are not common.  Most mothers would lay down their lives for their children - and frequently do, figuratively if not literally.

So, if you are reading this, and you are blessed to have your mom still with you, do yourself a favour and take action.  I don't care how old you are or how old your mom is.  Make her a cup of tea, give her a night off cooking AND dishes, run her a bubble bath, take her out for a meal, go visit her, help her out with chores around the house, take her shopping, bring her a big bunch of flowers, give her a hug and a kiss, give her a call right now... but most of all, don't forget to tell her what an amazing superwoman she is, and how much you appreciate all she does and ever has done for you.  You will never say "I love you" louder than you do when you affirm her in the most important role God ever gave her - being your mother. 

Mother's day shouldn't be one arbitrary Sunday somewhere in the middle of the year.  She is worth way, way more than that.  Don't ever miss the chance to appreciate her as often as you can right through the year.